You might think that having a secret agent`s H.Q. in a Mayfair pillar-box
would have considerable disadvantages - like being buried in football
pool coupons every Friday night and finding that half the wall was swinging
open three times a day.
This pillar-box, though is different. You see, the slot opens into a large
pipe which in turn leads to a temporary storage chamber below ground level.
At regular intervals, the stored letters are sucked out and travel along
a communicating pipe until they come to rest in a matching pillar-box
in Willesden Green.
Try posting a letter to yourslef in this pillar-box in Mayfair (security
requirements prevent us from telling you exactly where it it) and
you will find that it will be postmarked `Willesden Green`.
Far from being cluttered with letters and postcards D.M.`s home is fitted
out with all that the World`s Greatest Secret Agent might need.
Extensive Reference Library:
Where D.M. keeps detailed maps, criminal records and dictionaries of the
world`s arest languages such as Turbo-Stoat, Rirweeli and Barnsleyite.
[Because of the H.Q.`s circular shape, there was considerable difficulty
in fitting the bookshelves to the wall. this problem was overcome by using
planks made from the wood of the banana tree.]
D.M.`s Wardrobe/Changing Room:
He has 730 identical white suits and 730 black eye-patches which allow
for a complete change of clothing every morning and evening.
They are made from a unique synthetic fibre specially developed by D.M.
from his No. 3 chemistry set.
is water-proof, thorn-proof, heat-proof, cold-proof, moth-proof, wear-proof,
dirt-proof and bullet-proof.
The only bedroom. that is because our hero never sleeps. Penfold, on the
other hand, is only properly awake when he is scared. His cot has closely
spaced bars to prevent the bogey-man from nibbling his tootsies in the
Detachable Escape Module:
For use int he event of flood, fire or earthquake. In flight it lloks
remarkably like the science-fiction writers` idea of a flying-saucer.
Early testing of the device over Wharbridge generated many reports of
UFOs on which of course, the government could not comment.
Main Living Room:
Simply decorated, it has a semi-circular couch so that people can sit
around, and set into the wall is the Mark III Fishuki Videophone.
Central Lift Mechanism:
Any alarm call sts it in a state of readiness. After that it needs only
the weight of D.m. leaping onto the couch to activate the high-speed hydraulic
mechanism which drops the passengers at 347 grams per square yard into
the garage areas.
The rapidly descending weight compresses the shock absorbing fluid into
the central column and at 1.37 STTD (secounds to touch down) this pressure
is used to power a hydraulic starter motor on D.M.s car.
At 0.92 STTD the couch reaches the base of the column and a hinge mechanism
flipps the seating forward thus propelling our heroes into their appropriate
seats in the car.