The Hideout


You might think that having a secret agent`s H.Q. in a Mayfair pillar-box would have considerable disadvantages - like being buried in football pool coupons every Friday night and finding that half the wall was swinging open three times a day.
This pillar-box, though is different. You see, the slot opens into a large pipe which in turn leads to a temporary storage chamber below ground level.
At regular intervals, the stored letters are sucked out and travel along a communicating pipe until they come to rest in a matching pillar-box in Willesden Green.

Try posting a letter to yourslef in this pillar-box in Mayfair (security requirements prevent us from telling you exactly where it it) and you will find that it will be postmarked `Willesden Green`.
Far from being cluttered with letters and postcards D.M.`s home is fitted out with all that the World`s Greatest Secret Agent might need.

Extensive Reference Library:
Where D.M. keeps detailed maps, criminal records and dictionaries of the world`s arest languages such as Turbo-Stoat, Rirweeli and Barnsleyite. [Because of the H.Q.`s circular shape, there was considerable difficulty in fitting the bookshelves to the wall. this problem was overcome by using planks made from the wood of the banana tree.]

D.M.`s Wardrobe/Changing Room:
He has 730 identical white suits and 730 black eye-patches which allow for a complete change of clothing every morning and evening.
They are made from a unique synthetic fibre specially developed by D.M. from his No. 3 chemistry set.
This Trihexybutylchloro-mentholhydro-oxylmolybelenomdicotyledonous-pollybide is water-proof, thorn-proof, heat-proof, cold-proof, moth-proof, wear-proof, dirt-proof and bullet-proof.

Penfold`s Bedroom:
The only bedroom. that is because our hero never sleeps. Penfold, on the other hand, is only properly awake when he is scared. His cot has closely spaced bars to prevent the bogey-man from nibbling his tootsies in the night.

Detachable Escape Module:
For use int he event of flood, fire or earthquake. In flight it lloks remarkably like the science-fiction writers` idea of a flying-saucer.
Early testing of the device over Wharbridge generated many reports of UFOs on which of course, the government could not comment.

Main Living Room:
Simply decorated, it has a semi-circular couch so that people can sit around, and set into the wall is the Mark III Fishuki Videophone.

Central Lift Mechanism:
Any alarm call sts it in a state of readiness. After that it needs only the weight of D.m. leaping onto the couch to activate the high-speed hydraulic mechanism which drops the passengers at 347 grams per square yard into the garage areas.
The rapidly descending weight compresses the shock absorbing fluid into the central column and at 1.37 STTD (secounds to touch down) this pressure is used to power a hydraulic starter motor on D.M.s car.
At 0.92 STTD the couch reaches the base of the column and a hinge mechanism flipps the seating forward thus propelling our heroes into their appropriate seats in the car.

On the lift!



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